Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
