So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
