please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do vagina's smell?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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