It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize