Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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