I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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