my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
