well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
