so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
