there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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