I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize