i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
