I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
