Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
