doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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