Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
