you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The Olympian is in my bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
