no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize