In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
