thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
