Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
