hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
