That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
