never play flip cup with pint glasses
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
