my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
