He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
