The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
