Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
