I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
