Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
