He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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