I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
