dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
two words...techno handjob
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
