I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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