i was born a porn star she said
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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