I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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