She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
