I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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