ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
