Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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