I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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