I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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