Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
