super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize