The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
