Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
