3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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