I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
