I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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