She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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