Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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