oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize