When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
