I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize