This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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