Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
