Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
