kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize