Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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