Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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