Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
