The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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