Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
