he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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