you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
