Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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