I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
