I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
