I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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