You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
