If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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