If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize